colloidal osmotic pressure

i just thought of something. i think it’s really interesting how people think that we choose God, when really it’s the opposite. He chose us, and it isn’t a matter of whether you choose Him or not, rather it’s whether you open your eyes to see Him or not. He has been here for the entire existence of man and longer, and He will continue to be whether we recognize Him or not.

so i think it’s funny (and sad) how people say that God is “not their thing.” right. you are His thing.

whole milk

i thoroughly enjoy it. especially late at night.

i’m avoiding my physics problems, just so you know.

and a crying roommate + hugs and talking = a not-crying-and-less-sad-roommate. happyface.

so this weekend, one of my many missions was to retrieve my dream envelope and bring it to school so that i could put my recorded dreams from this year with my old ones. the unity of my dreams! i write my dreams down because they are hilarious and ridiculous, and when i randomly decide to go through my dream envelope i get a really good laugh out of it. and it’s one of those things that only i will laugh at – because i am the only one who knows my dreams in their entirety, and i have surprisingly vivid memories of them. (daniel, you know this. hahaha)

so i found one that i had written in detail. are you ready? i won’t be offended if you stop reading here. also, if you do read on, i understand if you think i am less cool. prepare yourself for randomness…

dated: July 4th, 2009

and i quote,

“So I was at some type of Epic gathering, and Gordon was there, and he brought his cousin who was pretty cute, but he warned the girls to stay away and like not go after him. I started talking to him (the cousin) and we were playing catch or something (I think I was throwing food in his mouth – he was in the water/ocean, I was on some platform w/ some people) and Gordon comes over and tells me to stop. So I tried to reason by saying I just tried to talk to him b/c he’s new, I didn’t know, etc… but then I was like fine, I’ll stop talking to him, so I leave to go to the bathroom. While I’m in the bathroom, all of these mothers are feeding their babies this formula milk (someone offered me some, too), which turned into strawberry milkshake milk as time progressed, and it seemed like the moms were just trying to get rid of it. Oh, this was in a public beach bathroom. And before, on my way to the bathroom, I saw Erica & 3 other girls walking with their towels, but I didn’t say hi & I stopped at this black/pink board to write a note to the guys… I wrote “Hiiii” and then erased it, but then I made a big hot pink block b/c that was the color of the board. Then I go pee in the bathroom – the stall is super cramped, there is table right in front of the toilet, and there were only paper towels to use. So I line the toilet with paper towels and go, and come out… then I’m with Guano alone in Hawaii b/c we took a random trip there. We had eaten a crazy meal of seafood (spanning the size of a coffee table) and I went to the bathroom again. When I came out, we were sitting right outside of Bubbies, so I got kind of distracted by the cakes & stuff. Guano wanted me to hurry, so I returned to the table.

[Somewhere in between, I was pooping, and Mommy and a bunch of ppl wanted to have a meeting in the same one-room bathroom I was in, and her and some young guy came to tell me]

Then late rin HI, Guano & I had dinner w/ Matty, Brenner, Doka, and some other people (12 total). Then we (me & SF) were sitting on the grass outisde and for some reason no one knew I was there yet, and I was planning on calling Matty to tell him and plan to surprise Steph somehow. I was super excited but also apprehensive because we only had 3 days there.

Oh, and I had asked Doka if we could go surfing, and she was really surprised but happy.

And somewhere in this all, I saw a bunch of purses in a display thing in a store.”

i told you it was detailed. and random.

i know, there are grammar issues. may i remind you that i wrote this right after waking up.

time for sleep. and maybe more milk.

oh yes, and i think you should listen to this song: Forgiven by Sanctus Real.

i have good news and good news.

which one do you want to hear first?

the good news? okay.

good news #1: my dad has been worshipping God for the past 20 years

it is good because instead of letting him suffer longer on earth, God took him to a place where He knew was much better. and though it sounds strange for me to be saying this, i am thankful. i thank Him, for He knew that this would work out for good (Rom 8:28), He knew that i would thank Him someday, and He knew – of course – that His plan was the best thing that could have happened to us.(i’m not saying that God’s plan “happens,” it just is. but you get it, right?)

one of the things i wanted to do during winter break was to go to rose hills to visit my dad’s grave, and it just so happened that we planned to go on the day that marked 20 years since his passing. and on that day, i felt real sadness for the first time in a long time, and i guess people don’t really think about this very often, but cemeteries (in my opinion) are places that hold the most sorrow on this earth. there are hills filled with headstones of people that have finished their life on earth, and the longer it took for us to find his, the more names i read, and i felt this sorrow that broke my heart and filled my eyes with tears because reading names of people who have probably not met the Maker of this earth is truly sorrowful. i can’t even explain it fully – you just need to go and i can guarantee you that God will make your heart hurt for the lost as long as your heart (and eyes) are open. when you see the memoirs of people who have left this earth without knowing Christ, it can really change your perspective. the difference lies in understanding what it is that we don’t want to happen in order to spur us on to work towards what we do want to happen, and that is  that every knee will bow and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord (Phil 2:10-11).

which reminds me of my second round of good news.

good news #2:

today i talked with my old roommate, and God showed me once again just how great He is, how perfect and omniscient He is. she accepted Christ! it’s a party up in Heaven… for her! to God be the glory! and praise His name for HE IS GOOD!

her salvation is such an answer to prayer. her pursuit of truth was and continues to be an answer to prayer. her current roommates were an answer to prayer. and there have been so many other steps in the path of her coming to know Christ that have been provided by our great God, and her spiritual life thus far has been such a testimony to God’s faithfulness.

i have a lot of other thoughts and praises to God that i wish i could mind-vomit onto this entry, but i guess what i wanted to leave you with is the encouragement that God is continuing to bring new life into His kingdom, and that we are a part of His plan to reach those who do not yet know. Christ’s work on the cross has brought us salvation, and we are called to spread this truth into the world (John 17:17-18)! i hope this made your day, because it made mine and i wanted to give God the glory He deserves – although a blog entry does NOT do justice – for His goodness in all things and at all times.

lastly, true comfort is knowing that the people you love on earth are with One who loves them more than you can even comprehend, and true joy is knowing that the people you love on earth will be with Him as well.

“For no man can lay a foundation other than the one which is laid, which is Jesus Christ.” (referenced above)

let everyone sing, sing and rejoice

there is so much to think about right now. so much to praise God for. so much reason to give Him glory. and it’s how it should be all of the time.

when we want to emphasize the true meaning of Christmas, it seems to come out so cheesy, those “Jesus is the reason for the season”-types-of-phrases, but they are so true. the birth of Christ is the whole point of Christmas – the only way we would have had a chance in eternity, and if it weren’t for Him… i don’t even want to imagine what life would be like. there would be no meaning. and the day to remember His first coming has so much meaning. and i love that people gather for the sake of remembering His birth – the redemption of mankind. it’s truly reason to celebrate!

also, Christmas isn’t a season. seasons come and go. if i knew a better term for it, i would use it here, but since my vocabulary is not the most abundant area of my life, just imagine a word that says that the meaning of Christmas is what believers should remember all 365 days of the year. living in a manner worthy of the gospel is rooted in understanding the gospel of Christ, and your life should be an outpour of what’s in your brain… so wouldn’t it make sense to remember Christ’s humility on our behalf through His birth – a key part of our salvation – and remember that it is only by His grace that we are able to be saved? that’s the kind of stuff i want to fill my brain with. let’s be mindful, not mindless.

and the title of this entry came from the Christmas musical – Good news! Great joy! let everyone sing, sing and rejoice! Good news! Great joy! Jesus Christ is born today! it’s His birthday, come and celebrate! Yeah! [insert spirit fingers here]

so my hope for you and i is that we rejoice in the birth of Christ – this Christmas and always.

very soon

it could happen tomorrow.

or not.

but either way, i need to be prepared. i’m talking about Christ’s second coming. sometimes, i feel like i get tunnel vision in this world and i lose eternal perspective. life turns into the here and now, rather than what it should be – His glorification through our lives, and our eager awaiting for His return. last week, i thought about this, and have been asking myself the question, ‘am i eagerly awaiting His return?’ by looking at my life and the fact that i had to even pause to answer this question, the answer is no. should i be? YES.

the other day, my cousin was explaining the universal healthcare bill to me, and how our country is taking another step toward the downward spiral of our world, simply because it’s the world. he said that if Christ were in control he would be all for this bill, but we currently live in a world full of sin which makes this bill basically unachievable, because it will eventually turn out to be something that it wasn’t meant to be. and that mentality – that acknowledgment of our existence in the world, yet knowing that Christ is greater and that it would be infinitely better if He was ruling this world’s political system, and that there will be a day that He will, is what we need as believers. i feel like i get caught up looking at my life and the lives of those around me, and i forget that what God has planned for this world is bigger than what I can see. i look forward and forget to look up. i would be unprepared for a bolt of lightning if it hit. i really would, figuratively and literally.

speaking of earthly tunnel vision, a few questions i’ve been asking myself lately have been… do i get too attached to the people on this earth? sometimes i feel like i focus too much on my life here on earth and start to love creation more than the Creator, and when i realize that, it’s truly terrifying. it terrifies me that i miss the point. it’s kind of like doing research – when you get caught up in the details and forget what the goal of the experiment was. and i don’t mean to characterize life as an experiment, because it’s not – it’s completely purposeful and sovereignly planned. but honestly, this forgetfulness is disrespectful and far from righteousness – come on now, PG, take off the old and put on the new!

but really, what if God decided to take away the people i love the most? if He took them to Heaven, would I turn to Him and understand or would my heart break? as of now, i feel like ithe latter would occur. and it shouldn’t be that way. and by my self-expected response, this shows me that i’m not ready. i’m not eagerly awaiting.

and so i thank You for the reminder to keep on keeping on with the right mindset.

Soon and very soon
My King is coming
Robed in righteousness and crowned with love
when i see him i shall be made like him
soon and very soon…

battle scars

i think that the forbidden fruit in the Garden of Eden was probably not a pomegranate, because if it were, Eve would not have picked it.

“… she took from its fruit and ate;” (Genesis 3:6)

you can’t just take a pomegranate from the tree and eat it. the “taking” of the fruit takes so much energy.

you may be wondering why i’m randomly talking about pomegranates, and it’s because it’s pomegranate season right now, so we were painstakingly picking them today. we have a lot of different fruits to harvest (i sound like a farmer…) during the year, but of all of them, the pomegranate easily wins the Most-Difficult-Fruit-to-Harvest award in my book. first off, the tree itself is about 3.5 times as tall as i am, with most of the fruit being halfway up the tree and above because a lot of the lower ones get stolen by our lovely neighbors during the day, so imagine the struggle to reach the pomegranates. it’s not pretty. i spent part of the time sitting on the wall that separates our house backyard from the street in order to reach and brace myself better. i know, way to look like a monkey, right? so anyway, because the tree is so tall, we have these handy dandy fruit-picking tools – they do wonders for short people! one is a 7-foot pole with a chopper at the end, and the other is a 7-foot pole that extends an extra 3 feet that has this hooked basket at the end (it’s meant to hook onto fruit and you can either chop the branch it’s on, or pull it and the fruit falls into the basket – brilliant, i know. embarrassing fact about myself: when i was little, i used to pretend the pole with the hooked basket was a horse and ride it around in our backyard).

so here’s how it goes down: the person who is going to chop the branch will stand on the ladder, and the person who will be catching the fruit stands on the ground – this is the standard procedure for picking fruit off of tall trees, so remember this for future reference.

since you already know that chopping branches isn’t my forte, let me just tell you that chopping branches 6 feet away from you on a ladder while trying to make sure the other person is ready to catch the pomegranate you’re freeing from the tree is kind of pushing it for me. i guess once you get used to the fear of falling off a ladder because a huge pole is throwing off your balance, it isn’t too bad – and i’m not being sarcastic. but it was actually a lot of fun. and really funny, despite the constant imbalance and the branches i could never seem to get out of my face. in using our fruit-picking method, you obviously need two people, and there is a surprising amount of communication involved, which i actually didn’t realize until after we finished. so the main thing is letting the other person know when you’re ready – if you’re on the ground, you tell the chopping person when you’re ready to catch, and vice versa – and there are a lot of other things. my favorite is spotting the next fruit to pick, because it’s like picking out a piece of artwork to enjoy – only, it’s made by God, which makes it infinitely better than any other type of art on earth. seriously, fruit is so beautiful and unique. and when you’re choosing which one to pick next, it’s a lot of fun because it’s kind of like a game to find the most ripe-looking fruit, and after the struggle to pick it, you have it, and the success is so gratifying. i know it sounds really lame, but honestly, it feels really good to have fruit that you kind-of-hand-picked in your hands. and we literally cheered after every pomegranate we picked today. we picked like 40. no joke.

but every time we pick pomegranates, we leave with battle scars. the reason for that is because pomegranate trees have thorns like you wouldn’t imagine. if you look along a branch, about every inch or so, there are two thorns – one pointing out at each side… and they are very pointy. so very pointy. i suggest that if you ever go hug a tree, don’t hug a pomegranate tree. unless you like thorns.

today, we each got a splinter, and a few scrapes to go with it, which is not bad compared to past bouts with that dreadful (yet wonderful) tree. God is so smart – way to design a tree that guards its fruit so well! and pomegranates are so beautiful and so complicated; it’s just another testament to God’s intricate design. and i guess the forbidden fruit could have been pomegranates, since they are quite desirable, but my doubt of that possibility lies in the difficulty of reaching the fruit, as you know, but the sad truth is that humans will go to great lengths to sin. and the battle scars we get as a result of our sin are ugly, but it’s so good to know that we can look at our scars and know that we are seen as perfect in His eyes.

i am so sleep deprived.

so i got back from fall retreat this afternoon, and it was a total blessing. and i don’t mean that in the cliche camp-spiritual-high way, because for the first time, i feel that i didn’t experience a camp high. it’s kind of strange – both the concept of the high, and also fact that i didn’t feel it – but at the same time, it was really a gift from God that i was able to be my normal daily life self during this retreat. i find it difficult to distinguish in words “normal” from “the camp high,” but i will assume you know what i mean. and my favorite part of not feeling especially spiritual (for lack of a better term) was the fact that God used it to make me see the dynamics of the group and the members of our fellowship more objectively, meaning that i could just sit back and watch people and feel at rest – unlike my camp-high self, which tends to be very high energy and draws me toward the popular, fun group of people.

here are 2 things that God brought to my attention.

1. family issues are so important in the process of reconciliation with God. it touched my heart to be given the opportunity to comfort a crying freshman who shared her broken heart with us – quite possibly the first group of people she has shared that burden with during her first few weeks of college. huge. and i thank God for times like these, when you feel Him move in the hearts of other people – He softens and heals. it happens slow, but He will surely prevail.

2. speaking the truth (in love, of course) is a lot harder in practice than it sounds like in Proverbs. so one of my dear friends – she will remain unnamed – has gotten herself stuck in a little bit of a mess, in terms of friendship/relationships. for the longest time, i didn’t have the heart to tell her that i felt like she needed to be more careful, but when i finally did encourage her to be careful, i unexpectedly received defense in return, which although i still felt strongly about being intentional and did not regret what i had said nor the way i had said it, it still shut down my truth-telling and i resorted back to listening. this weekend, God allowed me to speak truth in its fullest and prompt her towards action, which i think was a first for me – and i totally remember the person God used to teach me this – camel. it’s times like these that i am reminded that God works in ways that we don’t expect, but they are for His ultimate glory. i love it.

more to come… when i have recovered from my sleep deprivation.

ps.

last night i dreamed that i was trapped in a rectangular bathroom and i was panicking because there was no possible way to avoid the flush air.

anopheles gambiae

chopping off mosquito heads? not my ideal research technique to try and master, but asi es la vida.

at first, i was so scared, but when you have over 50 mosquitoes sitting on ice next to you ready to be dissected, you kind of have no choice. i ended up decapitating 69 mosquitoes in an hour and a half. impressive, eh?

that was last tuesday.

today, i dissected 106 mosquito heads in less than an hour and a half. yay for efficiency! … although, i’m not sure how practical this skill is in life outside of the laboratory, but hey – why not?

it’s really easy for me to be all chill about slicing mosquito heads off after the fact, but let me tell you, during the act i’m like a bomb ready to explode. so when i get scared of things, i tend to get really jumpy. and in my fear, i tend to scare myself some more by trying to calm myself down, which usually fails, which results in me being extra scared of whatever the thing is. so this is what i experienced today. and last tuesday. and will continue to experience in the future. and to top it all off, i was grossed out – because twitchy, half-alive-half-dead mosquitos are not only scary, but under the microscope, they are also very ugly. sorry to rag on your creation, God, but I simply think they’re ugly. they’re just so… jointed and insect-y.

continuing on.

i recently found out that my best friend has chosen not to attend our home church, and instead has decided to attend another church in the area. and i’m really thankful that she is doing that, although i’m sure a lot of people would beg to differ. the part i’m thankful for is her reasoning and awareness of God’s work in her life to make this choice, because the reason she is semi-departing from us is because she feels like she isn’t growing – which I think is completely understandable – and i love that she is not only aware of this fact, but that she is pursuing a solution to it. i seriously love seeing God work. no one else could do it better.

to Him be the glory <3

jettastic

i would just like to say that today is the first official day that i’ve driven without stalling.
the end.