…every time i muster up enough courage to ask you to clean something, i overcome my fear of you being annoyed with me and i throw away selfish people-pleasing desires to confront you.

it doesn’t happen very often.

but every time… i don’t get an answer from you, but instead an excuse.

it’s okay, i understand. and i tell you that it’s okay.

but i’m tired too, and i have a lot of things on my plate, too… but i do my part.

and i just wanted to ask you to do yours, too.

it’s hard for me. like that one time i asked you to line the trashcan before throwing trash in it. you looked at me like i had crazy in my eyes. it kind of hurt.

and to me, the act of asking you is helping me turn away from holding onto my frustration and not cleaning up just for the sake of my mental health. because some days i really feel like i could go insane. instead of vacuuming, scrubbing sinks, sweeping, throwing away food, and bringing dirty dishes to the sink as my service to God, it turns into my solution for my frustration.

and that is not the solution.

it’s not living in a manner worthy of the gospel. it’s me getting stuck in the same black hole of sin. it’s during these times that God reminds me of 1 Corinthians 10:31.

Whether, then, you eat or drink or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.

wow. humbling. it’s humbling to know that God in his infinite might, reached down to touch me, Priscilla Gee, and place the perfect righteousness of Jesus Christ on me.

and yet, i do not have the decency to impart this grace on the people around me whom i love.

not my personal interests, but also the interests of others. of hers. <3 Philippians 2 die selfishness!

Advertisement